ABBY: Husband Doesn’t Get His Wife To Church On Time | lifestyle




BEST ABBY by Abigail Van Buren


DEAR ABBY: Punctuality is important to me. My husband has many good qualities, but punctuality is not one of them. We have been married for over 20 years and after many discussions we have failed to come to an agreement. We are late to church almost every Sunday and most parties and family events.

I find it rude to keep people waiting, and it makes me anxious. I’ve tried to get separate cars, but think we should arrive together as a couple. It seems like when I try to urge him to hurry, he deliberately slows down. It has reached the point where we are mad at each other by the time we finally get somewhere. Any advice? — HARE MARRIED TO TURTLE

BEST HARE: Yes. Take the separate cars. Nobody cares if you arrive “together” or not unless you go to dinner. And if your husband is late for that, reassure your hosts that there is no need to wait for him to arrive. Try to waste the time of the event as much as you can. But until he suffers the consequences, his behavior will not change.

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DEAR ABBY: My fiancé has been married twice and insists on keeping in touch with four previous sexual partners (except husbands). Most contact takes place via Facebook, chat messages and mobile phones. But a former partner is a high school classmate she sees at class “get-togethers” every year.

I think what she’s doing is inappropriate and it certainly will be when we’re married. She insists they’re just “friends” and that I’m immature and “unfaithful.” She is adamant that under no circumstances does she want to end contact with these former sexual partners (now friends). What should a man do? — PRESSURE IN FLORIDA

DEAR CROWDED: A “man” either accepts what his fiancé tells him – that these old flames are just friends now – or he breaks off the engagement and goes looking for a woman he thinks he CAN trust.

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DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been close friends with another couple for over ten years. The woman has a degenerative disease and is now paralyzed and unable to feed herself. We would like to stay close to them while recognizing the difficulties they face in scheduling meetings. Now, on our rare get-togethers, it always ends with ‘we should get together’, but then no plans are realized.

I know there is intense pressure on the husband between work, caring for their teenage child, and health care for his wife. How can we tactfully keep in touch while relieving some of the pressure on the spouse? I would love to host a bimonthly coffee or lunch, but I realize some days the wife may not feel like it. — GOOD FRIEND IN MARYLAND

BEST FRIEND: You ARE a good friend and a caring one. Every caregiver needs an occasional break to recharge.

It would be nice to call him and offer to spend a few hours with his wife so he can spend some time alone on things he may have been putting off. I can’t promise he’ll take it up with you, but he can.

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Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, aka Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more sociable person, order How to Be Popular. Send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $8 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Popularity Booklet, PO Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling charges are included in the price.)

(EDITING: If you have any editorial questions, please contact Clint Hooker, [email protected].)


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